Tuesday 1 April 2014

The return of family life in... 3...

Just three days until I get my life back. I feel I've really let my family down these past couple of months, so I'll be making the most of spending the Easter holidays with them. The Daughter and her boyfriend are heading this way for a few days, and it will be great to see them. I'm also looking forward to a belated Mother's Day trip somewhere, having put it off because I had too much work to do. My dad has an appointment to discuss his cancer op results next week, so everyone has their fingers crossed for that. It's been a very long month since his operation. People we know seem to have had their results within days if they needed urgent treatment, so we're hoping the wait for the results is a good thing. 

What with everything that's been going on in the last couple of months, I'm left feeling rather dull and empty. I've not felt like this since my grandmother died a few years ago, but then I worked with The Boss Lady and she made me talk it out. She would make a point of shutting the classroom door, first thing in the morning before the children arrived for school, and would just listen, passing tissues and generally being brilliant. I would then have time to sort myself out and present a normal face to the children. I've been prone to depression since I was a teenager, but haven't needed antidepressants for a good 14 years, and I want it to stay that way. I have recently been told that I set myself very high targets and never manage to convince myself I've met them. The Daughter (trainee counsellor) has told me there's a fine line between being a perfectionist and being obsessive. I think I may have crossed that line a few times in the past weeks. 

Ms Fab is living up to her name: telling me off for not eating, and keeping me going until this week is finally over. 


Cheers, Fab. I owe you. 

Ms Titian has organised a 'Teaching assistant and secretary evening' for Friday, which is not as suspect as it sounds, and means that her husband will be banished to the pub while we consume vast amounts of wine. 

I feel I'm pretending to be someone else at the moment, and am really looking forward to being me again.  

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